I am really getting into the swing of this website thing. It is a exercise in human psychology...boys always describe what they imagine your body looks like whereas I concentrate on the other sensations.....how he smells, how he feels, how I feel, what I want to hear, what I want to taste!!!! It certainly beats playing solitaire!
You start by making small talk. And if he sparks my brain, my body tends to respond. The conversation becomes more flirty - and there is ALWAYS a flirty response to any remark! So we continue...moving slowly, luxuriating in every sensation, describing every subtle move, feeding and exploring off each other. Occasionally it does disintegrate into a comedy of errors but if the desire is there, the game will return. Alternating between describing what you want to do and what you want to receive but always skirting round the subject......the mind is a powerful thing...so I always stop short of decribing contact.
M was particularly good at it, he responded to my subtleties with a passion I needed. Slowly the momentum built, we slowed it down before rushing headlong into it and slowing it down again. And when we had tasted the entire menu, my skin glistened and I was out of breath. Unfortunately, he wasnt quite there....he continued and it just seemed silly then. Oh well, nothing for it but to feign hanging computer screen and being a girl, I cant possibly understand anything more about it!!!!!
Maybe I am a player. After all, I used poor M to satisfy my appetite! I know he enjoyed himself too and it was only cyberpudding. Its not as if I stood him up or anything! Question is what will I do when I want to go further???? Believe me, at this rate, I will
Monday, January 28, 2008
Saturday, January 19, 2008
The devotee
I have been on the website for some time now and patterns are beginning to emerge. Firstly, the boys differ based on where they come from...the Canadians are incredibly polite, to the extent you think they would ask for permission to proceed at that crucial moment, decimating all hope of release. I dont know about you but I like a little less formality with my passion. The Americans are not too bad until you get down to it, when they become very selfish and unimaginative...and dont get me started with the "daddy" fixation! The French are very matter of fact about the whole thing and get to the point without delay. They arent interested in words either, its the real thing or "au revoir". While I have to admire their clarity (you know EXACTLY where you stand), like the Americans, they make the fatal flaw of getting too heavy before I am immersed. So they appear silly, vulgar and a tad desperate! I wonder if they realise, or care. Now the Brit boys are a different matter. There are still some boys letting the side down by emulating the North American Contingent but for the best part, they are really good fun. They tease and banter like no-one else and dont rush things.
Within each population, there are sub species which are far more interesting to guess. Type 1 are the complete lost causes....so cack handed in their approach that they would struggle to get anyone to entertain their requests. In this group, I include the ones still living with their mother or who spend their time talking about their family. Type 3 are the players who are there to get their kicks with no regard for anyone elses feelings....these boys will do what they can to get the prize but once they have won, they lose interest. To them, the webiste is the arena of the game they WILL win, whatever the odds. I like these boys because they can up their game and I do like a challenge! However, they lose interest too quickly...no sticking power!
That leaves the majority who are on the website because they are missing something in their real lives. This can be as fundemental as the lack of intimacy and affection in a partner. Alternatively, its because they want to do things they cant do at home, like dominate, submit, roleplay, foreplay,etc etc. They dont want to hurt anyone and care about things like how am I going to get home, am I enjoying myself. Theres nothing wrong with this...in fact its the bravest and almost natural thing to do...after all, everyone deserves to be happy, dont they? Its curious that we can find happiness with stranger, even if it is for a moment.
Within each population, there are sub species which are far more interesting to guess. Type 1 are the complete lost causes....so cack handed in their approach that they would struggle to get anyone to entertain their requests. In this group, I include the ones still living with their mother or who spend their time talking about their family. Type 3 are the players who are there to get their kicks with no regard for anyone elses feelings....these boys will do what they can to get the prize but once they have won, they lose interest. To them, the webiste is the arena of the game they WILL win, whatever the odds. I like these boys because they can up their game and I do like a challenge! However, they lose interest too quickly...no sticking power!
That leaves the majority who are on the website because they are missing something in their real lives. This can be as fundemental as the lack of intimacy and affection in a partner. Alternatively, its because they want to do things they cant do at home, like dominate, submit, roleplay, foreplay,etc etc. They dont want to hurt anyone and care about things like how am I going to get home, am I enjoying myself. Theres nothing wrong with this...in fact its the bravest and almost natural thing to do...after all, everyone deserves to be happy, dont they? Its curious that we can find happiness with stranger, even if it is for a moment.
The holiday romance
Have been abroad to escape the world. Unfortunately, I have brought the rain with me. This is such a shame as a break is the perfect time to indulge fantasy. However, I have been sorely disappointed. The holiday romance must be where men have the supreme advantage. A player will excel on holiday as they take advantage of people who dont have their radar primed. Normal people will follow the cliche of making a connection with someone and ….But how do you make the connection? I am just not inclined to play like that….it feels cynical (Gentlemen Prefer Blondes), it feels silly (The Wedding Crashers), it feels gauche (Shirley Valentine), it feels sad (Roman Holiday). I prefer the long slow tease. That’s why the website works well. You can meet people who fire your brain and body at your own pace. Of course, I am in a buyer’s market on the website as there are so many more boys than girls. So I can be selective; I can allow my personality to shine. In the world of holiday romances, the pressure of time makes the whole thing more superficial and centred on looks. Hence the disappointment…,the girls are glamorous and stunning, but need to do more than just look at a menu. The men need to take lessons on all fronts. My fellow travellers feel I am too harsh but why settle for mediocre? The holiday romance also demands swift action, as opposed to the languid pace of the tease. Men are in their element here as they love taking the lead and being assertive. Knock-backs are possible but meaningless as the risks are small – eventually, everyone gets to go back to normal life. So I leave my escape empty-handed but at least I havent acted cynically.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
The website
Its so curious how these websites work. I have always thought of them as part of the modern day courtship ritual…after all, life is all about sex and procreation. So how do we make it easier for the sexes to overcome the obstacles? The girls go free…is this to make up for periods and childbirth? Not sure its enough but I suspect not many women would go on otherwise. Then you get to specify stuff you want like age, location and gender. Some sites go one step further, you can specify height, weight (in categories like slim, average, zaftig!!), ethnic origin etc etc. I am sure there must be websites where you can specify how much he earns! I must admit that one site details educational level and well, I must be a snob because I am attracted more to people with degrees than not. Sue me!
The good thing about websites is that you can be as honest as you want to be….so I regularly see the phrase, “I am not interested in anyone overweight” or “I am only looking for someone attractive”. Brutal as it is, I have to concede they should be able to say this stuff….especially as I want that same freedom. But please…a little compassion goes a long way!
Then you have to write a profile. Putting yourself on the market. Its all very unEnglish…..we just don’t do that sort of thing! But if we are going to do it, lets do it with style, some spirit and imagination….the websites try to help by offering suggestions as to what to write. However, I cannot imagine they say things like “tell them how you dress” and “what is your personal hygiene routine?” Yet, time and time again, I read, “I am always clean! Sometimes I dress smart, other times more casual”. I mean its hardly interesting, let alone flirty.
Anyway, once that’s done, you are ready for action.
The good thing about websites is that you can be as honest as you want to be….so I regularly see the phrase, “I am not interested in anyone overweight” or “I am only looking for someone attractive”. Brutal as it is, I have to concede they should be able to say this stuff….especially as I want that same freedom. But please…a little compassion goes a long way!
Then you have to write a profile. Putting yourself on the market. Its all very unEnglish…..we just don’t do that sort of thing! But if we are going to do it, lets do it with style, some spirit and imagination….the websites try to help by offering suggestions as to what to write. However, I cannot imagine they say things like “tell them how you dress” and “what is your personal hygiene routine?” Yet, time and time again, I read, “I am always clean! Sometimes I dress smart, other times more casual”. I mean its hardly interesting, let alone flirty.
Anyway, once that’s done, you are ready for action.
Monday, January 14, 2008
The dance...
I am sure the website is a melting pot of humanity but at the moment its full of guys casting their nets, hoping to capture a quick fix of excitement!!! Unfortunately, they come across as vulgar and worse, needy. I much prefer the man who can banter his way out of a corner and is prepared to stay the course.
Why do people like talking about their woes all the time? Thats not how it works...its certainly no way to attract moths to your flame! In fact, I know when things are going downhill. Its when the I feel like I am carrying the conversation, when the flirting has to be judged, when I end up lying to you about what I do and am reluctant to give you my msn address. By then, I am resigned to the inevitable car crash and I give up. If I am feeling a little frisky, I might play with you and start a fight..you boys are so easy to wind up, but yes, I do like to push buttons with all my might!!!!!
So what does the successful guy talk about?....food and drink, I guess. Your hobbies...music, sport, literature, history...anything that you are passionate about. I want to feel the fire in your eyes. I want to see you let go and drop your barriers. I want to know what you are like when you are happy. So I dont want to know that you are separated or recently divorced. After all, why are you telling me? Its so that I know that you arent over her. Alternatively, you seem to think its ok to tell me you want a special friend to share romantic evenings over lambrusco and soft focus lighting. The only trouble is this is all too earnest. Where did all the fun go?...I am not your counsellor or your mother....I am a playmate. I want to relax and giggle into the evening and the early hours of the morning. Just think of the games we could play with that much time!
Why do people like talking about their woes all the time? Thats not how it works...its certainly no way to attract moths to your flame! In fact, I know when things are going downhill. Its when the I feel like I am carrying the conversation, when the flirting has to be judged, when I end up lying to you about what I do and am reluctant to give you my msn address. By then, I am resigned to the inevitable car crash and I give up. If I am feeling a little frisky, I might play with you and start a fight..you boys are so easy to wind up, but yes, I do like to push buttons with all my might!!!!!
So what does the successful guy talk about?....food and drink, I guess. Your hobbies...music, sport, literature, history...anything that you are passionate about. I want to feel the fire in your eyes. I want to see you let go and drop your barriers. I want to know what you are like when you are happy. So I dont want to know that you are separated or recently divorced. After all, why are you telling me? Its so that I know that you arent over her. Alternatively, you seem to think its ok to tell me you want a special friend to share romantic evenings over lambrusco and soft focus lighting. The only trouble is this is all too earnest. Where did all the fun go?...I am not your counsellor or your mother....I am a playmate. I want to relax and giggle into the evening and the early hours of the morning. Just think of the games we could play with that much time!
Sunday, January 13, 2008
The underdog
Passion is the most under rated thing in the universe. If more people lived by passion, we would all be happier. Its all about living as if nothing else in the world matters, breaking the rules, grabbing life by the lapels and kissing long and hard. This is why regret and heartache is a waste of life.
That said, experiencing heartache is proof that passion was there and was real. For that alone, heartache is better than never loving!
That said, experiencing heartache is proof that passion was there and was real. For that alone, heartache is better than never loving!
The know-how
The best way to get a girl to melt is to coax and warm her. Put the heat up too high and she burns..too low and well, real women have never had much affinity with gazpacho! They say the best way to a mans heart is through his stomach, for a woman, its through her brain. She needs to laugh with you, which means you have to be able to hold up your end of the conversation for a start!
I guess women are like the cat who wouldnt be stroked in that any attempt to pet her will be treated with disdain. However, real women love being intrigued and teased.Show her whats on offer if only she would come a little bit closer....a gentle stroke in the air, an inch above her shoulder speaks volumes. It promises so much with so little effort. Almost instantly, she will want to rise up and meet your hand. Its her choice but it isnt time. Caress her shoulders, her hips, her wrists...(Jane Austen has something for even boys to learn from!)Drive her slowly out of her mind, waiting and wondering why the hell you wont make a move.
Yes, I know its naughty but we are here to have fun arent we? So we also know that the first fall from a position of delay and denial is so very delicious....
I guess women are like the cat who wouldnt be stroked in that any attempt to pet her will be treated with disdain. However, real women love being intrigued and teased.Show her whats on offer if only she would come a little bit closer....a gentle stroke in the air, an inch above her shoulder speaks volumes. It promises so much with so little effort. Almost instantly, she will want to rise up and meet your hand. Its her choice but it isnt time. Caress her shoulders, her hips, her wrists...(Jane Austen has something for even boys to learn from!)Drive her slowly out of her mind, waiting and wondering why the hell you wont make a move.
Yes, I know its naughty but we are here to have fun arent we? So we also know that the first fall from a position of delay and denial is so very delicious....
The passions....
Football, theatre, music, sport, shopping, travel....When you think of people and what drives them, it will all boil down to one thing, passion. Its in us all but most will not heed it, let alone realise its presence. They believe that floating along calm unruffled waters is passion but if you ask them what passion feels like, they will clench their hands, draw it up to their chest. Their eyes will fill with life and their voice become soft, if only for a second.
To feel your passions rising is the most divine sensation. It start with the hairs on your body tingling, followed by a numbing of your fingers and toes. Your breathing becomes very regular and deep. Your lips part and your tongue is driven to moisten them. Your eyes lose sight of everything outside the reach of your fingertips. You hear nothing but the deafening thud of your heart and a gentle gasp as you catch your breath. And then you surrender yourself, ever so slowly,but you do surrender.....
Now if only, I can find someone who can do that to me without me sticking a huge neon sign above my head and a dot-to-dot over my skin!
To feel your passions rising is the most divine sensation. It start with the hairs on your body tingling, followed by a numbing of your fingers and toes. Your breathing becomes very regular and deep. Your lips part and your tongue is driven to moisten them. Your eyes lose sight of everything outside the reach of your fingertips. You hear nothing but the deafening thud of your heart and a gentle gasp as you catch your breath. And then you surrender yourself, ever so slowly,but you do surrender.....
Now if only, I can find someone who can do that to me without me sticking a huge neon sign above my head and a dot-to-dot over my skin!
Friday, January 11, 2008
The setting....
So whats all this website nonsense about? Simply put I dont have the time or the inclination to go to bars or any other marketplace. I want gin and giggles with the minimum of fuss and fallout. So far, it hasnt disappointed.....
The guys outnumber the girls, which is great as I get to pick and choose as I please. Sometimes I want to play coy, other times I want to play vamp, sometimes I just need to laugh. Whatever I want, it out there in one form or another....take this morning, I go online and send a couple of winks. This is how you let someone know you are interested....a bit like smiling at someone, I guess. This guy comes online and winks me back. Oooh! lets see what you're like! J is a firefighter in Baltimore. He grants me a key to his photo....He is blonde with sunkissed skin & a good physique (yes, I know the photo isnt him, but why not!). We do the small talk thing and then he tells me EXACTLY how he's doing. About 20 minutes of his atrocious spelling and Jackie Collins plaigiarism later, I am on the floor in stitches and he says I am the best! Of course I am and he has never said that before, has he?
Well at least we will both go to work with smiles on our faces!
I go online again this evening and find 35 messages! New girl on the block, I reckon. I have had sweet, "You sound like a breath of fresh air"; corny, "I have a whole load of lovin' to share with a lucky lady. Could it be you?"; pitiful, "My wife suddenly announced that she wanted an open relationship, so I thought I better do the same" and plenty of suggestions which just make my eyes water! Trouble is bland writing means bland brain and well, its about as thrilling as blancmange. Some had promise with a spark of wit about them. Lets see if any of them have any sticking power!
The guys outnumber the girls, which is great as I get to pick and choose as I please. Sometimes I want to play coy, other times I want to play vamp, sometimes I just need to laugh. Whatever I want, it out there in one form or another....take this morning, I go online and send a couple of winks. This is how you let someone know you are interested....a bit like smiling at someone, I guess. This guy comes online and winks me back. Oooh! lets see what you're like! J is a firefighter in Baltimore. He grants me a key to his photo....He is blonde with sunkissed skin & a good physique (yes, I know the photo isnt him, but why not!). We do the small talk thing and then he tells me EXACTLY how he's doing. About 20 minutes of his atrocious spelling and Jackie Collins plaigiarism later, I am on the floor in stitches and he says I am the best! Of course I am and he has never said that before, has he?
Well at least we will both go to work with smiles on our faces!
I go online again this evening and find 35 messages! New girl on the block, I reckon. I have had sweet, "You sound like a breath of fresh air"; corny, "I have a whole load of lovin' to share with a lucky lady. Could it be you?"; pitiful, "My wife suddenly announced that she wanted an open relationship, so I thought I better do the same" and plenty of suggestions which just make my eyes water! Trouble is bland writing means bland brain and well, its about as thrilling as blancmange. Some had promise with a spark of wit about them. Lets see if any of them have any sticking power!
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
In the beginning
Dear Reader,
Once upon a time there was a girl. She was married and had 2 lovely children. She was existing in her marriage as people do...going through the motions, cherishing the good moments to help her make it through the bad ones. All in all, a pretty normal marriage and not an unhappy one. Then he did something to hurt her. Nothing too dreadful, but enough to make her think and question. One day she stumbled on a site for extra-marital fun. She tried it with great scepticism and was astonished at the response. Of course, in her eyes, these men were all perverts and scoundrels - none could be normal, could they? And then it happened. A guy contacted her - he was incredible. He was sharp, witty, cheeky, fun - all of which made him hugely attractive. Then, it seemed, he shared her passions for sport, film, wine etc. He texted constantly, staying up to all sorts of hours with her. She was smitten but feared he would not like her. She was still underconfident in herself and her beauty.
He pushed and pushed to meet her and finally, she yielded. Her heart pounded in her ears as she walked to the coffee shop. He texted her to say he had butterflies. She got there early and ordered a vat of coffee and could not help noticing how much she was shaking, even before drinking a drop. She spotted him but he had not spotted her - the plan was that if he didnt like anything he saw, he could leave. A perfect win-win situation. She tried not to give herself away but then she found herself gesturing to him. They sat and spoke for hours, slowly easing into each other's company. She hid behind her vat of coffee, he just kept smiling. He brushed her leg with his hand - the electricity almost made her spill her drink. He noticed. He got up, leaned over and kissed her.It was the first time she had been "unfaithful" but it felt like the natural next step. And when it was time to leave, he kissed her again. It was one of those kisses that made your knees go weak, the ones girls dream about but never thought existed. She could barely walk.
They met a couple of times after that. Christmas came, real life intervened and the contact suddenly stopped. What had she done? Why had he gone? Was it because she hadnt slept with him? She realised how heart broken she was. How stupid she was to think she could find a real lover. These things didnt happen to her. She left the website and tried to get him back with flirtatious texts and erotic emails. She chased him. He ran further and further. She was angry with him for treating her badly - he didnt really, he just "wasnt that into" her and let the relationship fizzle. Coward. She became more angry with herself for being pathetic. Here she was, a bright, intelligent, & sensual woman chasing a man who wasnt reciprocating -ridiculous and unbecoming.
So she created a new profile and rejoined the site with the goal of light-hearted playfulness. She was realising she was a sexy minx with spirit and life in her eyes. Inevitably, all other men would be judged by his standards - not only for how he made her body feel (great) but also how he did not treat her with respect and fizzled the relationship. She was not going to be hurt again so she hid herself away. Maybe one day, she will let that bit of her out again - but it will take an extraordinary man to take the feisty minx and then the soft angel inside. Until then.....this girl is out to play and have fun - let the games begin......oops, they have already!!E x
Once upon a time there was a girl. She was married and had 2 lovely children. She was existing in her marriage as people do...going through the motions, cherishing the good moments to help her make it through the bad ones. All in all, a pretty normal marriage and not an unhappy one. Then he did something to hurt her. Nothing too dreadful, but enough to make her think and question. One day she stumbled on a site for extra-marital fun. She tried it with great scepticism and was astonished at the response. Of course, in her eyes, these men were all perverts and scoundrels - none could be normal, could they? And then it happened. A guy contacted her - he was incredible. He was sharp, witty, cheeky, fun - all of which made him hugely attractive. Then, it seemed, he shared her passions for sport, film, wine etc. He texted constantly, staying up to all sorts of hours with her. She was smitten but feared he would not like her. She was still underconfident in herself and her beauty.
He pushed and pushed to meet her and finally, she yielded. Her heart pounded in her ears as she walked to the coffee shop. He texted her to say he had butterflies. She got there early and ordered a vat of coffee and could not help noticing how much she was shaking, even before drinking a drop. She spotted him but he had not spotted her - the plan was that if he didnt like anything he saw, he could leave. A perfect win-win situation. She tried not to give herself away but then she found herself gesturing to him. They sat and spoke for hours, slowly easing into each other's company. She hid behind her vat of coffee, he just kept smiling. He brushed her leg with his hand - the electricity almost made her spill her drink. He noticed. He got up, leaned over and kissed her.It was the first time she had been "unfaithful" but it felt like the natural next step. And when it was time to leave, he kissed her again. It was one of those kisses that made your knees go weak, the ones girls dream about but never thought existed. She could barely walk.
They met a couple of times after that. Christmas came, real life intervened and the contact suddenly stopped. What had she done? Why had he gone? Was it because she hadnt slept with him? She realised how heart broken she was. How stupid she was to think she could find a real lover. These things didnt happen to her. She left the website and tried to get him back with flirtatious texts and erotic emails. She chased him. He ran further and further. She was angry with him for treating her badly - he didnt really, he just "wasnt that into" her and let the relationship fizzle. Coward. She became more angry with herself for being pathetic. Here she was, a bright, intelligent, & sensual woman chasing a man who wasnt reciprocating -ridiculous and unbecoming.
So she created a new profile and rejoined the site with the goal of light-hearted playfulness. She was realising she was a sexy minx with spirit and life in her eyes. Inevitably, all other men would be judged by his standards - not only for how he made her body feel (great) but also how he did not treat her with respect and fizzled the relationship. She was not going to be hurt again so she hid herself away. Maybe one day, she will let that bit of her out again - but it will take an extraordinary man to take the feisty minx and then the soft angel inside. Until then.....this girl is out to play and have fun - let the games begin......oops, they have already!!E x
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)